mikefotis.com

Dinner With Fotis Is Ever So Close To Being Reality!

Tuesday, April 29th, 2008 | Site News | 3 Comments

Happy Wednesday!

Dinner With Destiny

Big news on the mikefotis.com front. Dinner With Fotis, my monthly* radio podcast featuring interviews with the fine people of Minneapolis, is so close to happening that I’m actually getting excited. You know your podcast is official when it has theme music, and courtesy of James Rone, mine does! That’s right, mutha fucka’s! Dinner With Fotis done got it some tunes to go with the words! Woo hoo! I’m tempted to let you take a listen right now, but I think I’ll keep it a surprise.

Look for the first episode next week. Hopefully. It all depends on how quickly I learn how to edit.

Whip Fotis Into Shape 08′ Update! 

All I did yesterday was stretch. My body hurt so much that I might rename Tuesday,”Tuespainday”. Today I jog. Tomorrow I’ll complain about it. Excited? I’m sure you are.

Mike

*Maybe twice monthly. Maybe.

Humility…One Slow Pitch At A Time

Tuesday, April 29th, 2008 | Sports | 7 Comments

Happy Tuesday.

1. I am officially in my 30’s. We played softball again last night which aside from the loss, served as yet another stiff and obvious reminder that I am old(er) and more importantly, terribly out of shape.  I can no longer run. I can merely jog. I lack any and all explosiveness. If a ground ball forces me to move even half a step to my left or right, it’s takes all the power I have to get my body there which is usually a full second after the ball has passed.  And all that pathetic effort is usually accompanied by a heinous scream in which whatever is left of my masculinity is finally allowed to escape and seek refuge in another more capable athlete. Yesterday, while playing the outfield I trotted to a ground ball, bent over to pick it up and promptly fell over. Why? Because I am no longer able to run and bend at the same time.  Running and bending is something that an athlete should be able to do with ease.  More proof that I am NO athlete.

Here’s the thing, I’ve never been a great or even a good athlete. But I was at least a capable one. I may not have made the great plays, but I could at least be counted on to make the routine plays. I may not hit the home run, but I could at least be counted on to NOT FOUL OUT IN SLOW PITCH FUCKING SOFTBALL.

So, the “whip Fotis into shape 08′!” campaign is being pushed up a notch. Along with some of the other things I’ve been doing (jumping jacks! Pull Ups!), I will be incorporating jogging, shuttle runs and something yoga-y. This not being able to bend thing has me really worried.

Mike

Carriers, Poker, Solitude and Rampleseed.

Monday, April 28th, 2008 | Movie Reviews, Plugs, Uncategorized | 7 Comments

Happy Monday!

Carrier

It’s well known throughout the city that I am by far the hippest and coolest cat in town. And like most cool cats, I spent my Sunday evening sitting on my futon watching a fascinating PBS documentary called, Carrier. Carrier details the day to day stresses and tedium that make up the lives of a crew on a Naval carrier en route to Iraq. The wonderful thing about this doc is that it spends as much time exploring the appeal of the Navy, and the reasons people enlist, as it does exploring some of the problems with it. I wasn’t expecting that. Truthfully, I was expecting something far more biased and critical of the Navy. It’s a ten part series, and I’ve only seen 2 of them, so who knows what the future holds for the balance of this documentary, but so far the tone is just right. If you get a chance, check it out. FOTIs.
Poker

I’m ok at poker. I’m not great. I’m ok. That pretty much covers it. I wish I was that Russian guy in Rounders, but I’m more like the guy who forgets whether a flush beats a straight or vice versa. Actually, I know all the rules and am, for the most part, a pretty patient player. However, I’ve played twice in the last couple of weeks and have been done in both times by sudden and unexplained burts of stupidity. The thing is, I can’t handle not seeing the cards revealed. I should just fold, but I have this crazy need to see all the community cards AND what cards my opponents have. Even when I know I’m beat, I just have to know what type of hand is beating me. And that flaw my friends, is a bad one to have.

Solitude

Sunday, aside from a trip to Target to exchange some pants, was spent at Ft. Fotis all by my lonesome. It was lovely. I needed a little “me” time. I watched some basketball, stared at a wall, made a turkey roll up (Ok, ok. I made 4 of them), did 200 jumping jacks, watched some PBS, and thought about, but boldly chose NOT to write, my fringe show. It was great. For about 3 hours. The other 21 hours were incredibly boring. But hey, I’m more relaxed, so that’s something.

Rampleseed

They ripped the heads off of rabbits before their set. Come on! I was so terrified that Tom (or Tyler) was going to shoot me with a bullet, or an arrow, or a rabbit’s head that I could barely function during our set. Joe was ashamed of me. I was just happy to get out of the show in one piece. Rampleseed is not to be fucked with.

Mike

Rampleseed and Something I’m Not Sure Is Really Happening

Friday, April 25th, 2008 | Plugs, Solo Show Stuff | 10 Comments

Happy Friday!

Rampleseed Kidnapped My Cat

It’s true. They took him. Last night. They lured him away with an assortment of shiny and squeaky objects. They sent me a ransom video. Clearly my cat is quite happy, which of course, was Rampleseed’s goal. To prove that I am a bad pet owner.  They returned him this morning complete with an assortment of brand new toys and a bettter self image than I have ever been able to give him.  Those bastards have me completely psyched out. I don’t know which way is up! I don’t know my left from my right! I just know that at 11pm tonight, I need to suck it up and face my mental superiors…
Details:
Friday April 25th, 11pm
Brave New Workshop
26th and Hennepin, MPLS
$10 It’s a fundraiser for Twin Cities Improv Festival
Rampleseed (Tyler Samples and Tom Reed) vs Ferrari McSpeedy (Joe Bozic and Mike Fotis)

A Comedian Walks Into A Conference Room

Speaking of my mental inferiority, in just a few minutes I will be heading downtown, walking into a conference room and performing my story about blogging for a group of about 100 lawyers.  My life has officially become the setup to a bad joke. Seriously. The whole thing will be over in less than 5 minutes. I’ll be honest, the only reason I’m doing this is because of the situation’s potential story worth. Could be great.

 Mike

A Hostile Letter From Rampleseed

Thursday, April 24th, 2008 | Plugs | 6 Comments

Happy Thursday!

Last night I received a very hostile letter from Rampleseed. Needless to say I am completely unnerved. Here is the letter in its entirety.

HeY JerKS! ThIS Is RaMPLEseeD. We HoPE YouRE ReaDY To HAve YouR PeniseS stoMPED on By Our FunnyneSS! YoU GuyS Are GoiiNG To Be DriVInG HoME SaYinG, “OUCHh! OuR PeniSEs HuRT CouRTeSY Of RAMPLeSeeD!” DoN’t SHoW UP On FrIDay If You ValUe YouR PeNISES, WhICh We KNOwED YoU Do. EspeciALly MikE, EvEn ThouGH HiS Is SuPER SmaLL, SmALLER Than A GerbIL.

Take care,

Rampleseed”

Ok, I admit it. These guys are totally in my head. I am freaked.

Mike

Details:
Friday April 25th, 11pm
Brave New Workshop
26th and Hennepin, MPLS
$10 It’s a fundraiser for Twin Cities Improv Festival
Rampleseed (Tyler Samples and Tom Reed) vs Ferrari McSpeedy (Joe Bozic and Mike Fotis)

Wednesday, April 23rd, 2008 | Movie Reviews, Plugs, Uncategorized | 4 Comments

Happy Wednesday!

Forgetting Sarah Marshall

Judd Apatow and crew have become so successful that they are now able to make a movie out of any idea that any of them might have. Luckily, they are also on a pretty good roll. The roll continues with Forgetting Sarah Marshall, a movie about a guy who is dumped by his famous girlfriend, goes to Hawaii to get over her and finds out that she’s staying at the same hotel with her british rocker of a boyfriend. Throw in a beautiful perfect woman who just happens to work at the hotel as the main love interest and you’ve got yourself…a pretty hokey plot. Which makes it all the more amazing that I genuinely liked this movie. It was always about the relationships. In fact, the goofy setting and plot setups only came into play when it was helping to enhance those relationships as opposed to most comedies where the goofy setting and the plot are the focus of the movie and the characters are just there to move the movie to the next goofy premise.  Out of all of the recent Apatow joints (is that just a Spike Lee thing?) like Knocked Up and Superbad, this one would be my favorite. It wasn’t perfect. The supposedly killer opening seemed forced and like all Ro-coms,  the middle of this movie, or at least some of it, seemed pointless. Regardless. FOTI.

Commercial Chat

I did a commercial yesterday. My part took less than 20 minutes to film. OUSTANDING.

Improv Punch Out

Ferrari McSpeedy will be performing at Improv Punch Out this week, competing against the young upstarts known as Rampleseed. Should be a good battle. By the way, Tom and Tyler (Rampleseed) are very mean. They have apparently been threatening us at Go Go. Also, one of them followed me home last night and kicked me. I’m not sure which one kicked me because he had on a disguise and was on stilts and used voice modulation. I am afraid of them.

Mike

Softball Sorrows, AC Adapters and Web Commercials

Tuesday, April 22nd, 2008 | Sports, Uncategorized | 7 Comments

Happy Tuesday!

SOFTBALL SORROWS

Well, the BNW Skirt Turtles are 1-1 following our loss last night at the hands of The Buzzin’ Bees.  At one point we were winning the game. Then we were down by three. In the end, we lost by 13. In short, we have yet to learn how to seal the deal. We did a lot of things a lot better than the week before, ie, we caught several more flyballs, swung the bats a little better and on a personal note, I am still able to slide into a base with the same grace I had in 8th grade, which is the last time I slid into a base. However, our blatant disregard for the rules of the game came back to haunt us time and time again. It’s like we see a pop fly to the shortstop and have no choice but to run if we’re standing on 2nd base with less than two outs, you know? We’re wild stallions and we ain’t gonna get tamed anytime soon!  Anyhoo, we’ll get em’ next week, I’m sure.

ADAPTERS 

In other news, the ac adapter on my Dell has given out. I need a new one. Does anyone know of any good sites for AC adapters that are sold for a little cheaper than what is available on Dell.com? $70 seems kind of steep.

Web Commercials 

I’m off to shoot a web commercial!  For those of you that aren’t net/web savvy, a web commercial is a commercial that appears only on the internet.  It will never appear on TV. Never. But it will appear on the interweb.  TV=no. Interweb=Yes. I’m excited. I mean, I’ve already tackled the local television market with my trustworthy face and ability to unroll duct tape faster than the average person. I think it’s time for me to hit the web with nothing but my web surfboard and desire to be rich. Also, I can’t wait to hear what sort of odd looking person Jimmy Gaines thinks I look like in this commercial.  Redd Foxx? D.J. Smalls?  Oh boy! I can’t wait!

Mike

Gardening, Plugs And Driving The Ladies Wild

Sunday, April 20th, 2008 | Plugs, Site News, Uncategorized | 10 Comments

Happy Monday!

Gardening

I’ve been thinking about a certain term lately. It’s called “life balance” and it seems really intriguing. Apparently, if you have it, your life feels balanced.   After checking the inter-web for a quick definition just to make sure I wasn’t confusing “life balance” with “valium addiction”,  I decided to try it out. My Sunday was spent wandering around Home Depot, picking out flowers, buying fertilizer, soil and wood chips. It was followed by several hours potting, planting, trimming and pulling weeds. I have no idea if the plants I planted will even be alive in two days, and I have no idea what to do with the part of my yard I weeded, but I feel very satisfied with myself. In fact, gardening is one of the most enjoyable non theater activities I have ever partaken in.   I really enjoyed myself and found the whole thing to be a real calming affair.  Fuck, I even hung up a wind chime. In fact, I was so calm that I was hardly fazed while a watched a cop arrest a drag racer who had been tearing up and down my street thirty feet from me, my neighbor(I talked to one of my neighbors!) and my mums. All in all it was a delightful day.

Plugs

I won’t be there (maybe. I said I wouldn’t, but maybe I will. I don’t know. I doubt it.) , but you guys should totally go check out True Stories Of Total Bullshit at the Monday Night Comedy Show tonight. It starts at 8pm. It will be really funny.

Driving The Ladies Wild

My NAPA car commercial is now uploaded and ready for viewing! Just click here. It’s hard to believe just how handsome I appear on film/tape/not live.  Ladies, please. View this commercial with care.

Mike

Earthquakes, Punchouts, and Love Actually’s…

Friday, April 18th, 2008 | Movie Reviews, Oleo, Plugs | 4 Comments

Happy Friday!

1. 5.2 magnitude earthquakes in Illinois? It happened this morning!  If you’re a dork and into such things, here’s a link to most of the recorded/significant earthquakes in Illinois history.

2. If you’re looking for fun this this evening, check out the BNW mainstage show at 8, then stick around for Improv Punch Out! This week it’s Adorable vs. Drum Machine.  $10. BNW. 11pm. Woot!

3. After weeks and weeks of seasons 1 and 2 of The Wire, I made sure that I didn’t fill my Netflix queue with season 3.  I needed a break and not to offend any Wire junkies out there but season 2 wasn’t nearly as good as the first.  In short, I need a few weeks to watch something else before I go back to the show America loves.  Actually, I’m not sure America loves it. I think they feel like they should love it since so many people have told them how awesome it is, but deep down, I think everyone knows it’s no Sopranos. Anyway, diatribe aside, I had forgotten what  non Wire stuff was in my queue and was surprised when Love Actually arrived at my door. After nearly two weeks of not being in the mood, I popped it in to the old dvd player last night.  It’s pretty darn great. It’s gooey and shmooey and all of that stuff, but it’s not like the I didn’t know that going in, so it’s hard for me to fault the movie for something it set out to do.  In the end I learned that being alone at Christmas is the worst possible thing that could ever happen to anyone. EVER.  This holds true for everyone. Even non-Christians. Anyway, blah, blah, blah FOTI.

Mike

Stress, Anxiety, Fishing Commercials and Plugs

Thursday, April 17th, 2008 | Plugs, Site News, Uncategorized | 8 Comments

Happy Thursday!

1. So stress and anxiety continue to plague me. I’m wound tighter than the inside of a golf ball. I really have no idea what’s going on. I feel incredible pressure to do everything, even little things that really don’t fall into “pressure” categories. Like taking a shower. Or eating lunch. And then when I do them, I feel like I haven’t done them right, which makes me feel more pressure. How can I eat lunch incorrectly? The food’s going in my mouth. I’m chewing. It gets digested. I’m taking all the right steps but somehow I fucked up. I feel like I’m racing against a clock that I know isn’t real but where I can still feel the seconds ticking away and I feel like I’m falling further and further behind. In a nutshell, I’m OBVIOUSLY losing my mind. I’ll keep you updated.

2. In other less crazy losing my mind kind of news, I updated my video page! It’s my fishing commercial! Take note of the fleece I’m wearing. To this day, it’s still the most comfortable thing I’ve ever worn.

3. And finally, don’t forget about the newest and hippest improv show to hit the TC. Improv Punch Out continues this Friday at 11pm at the BNW. This week, the powerhouse trio Adorable squares up against the single minded fury of Drum Machine in what promises to be a battle of improv wills that will have to be seen to be believed.

Talk to you tomorrow.

mike