mikefotis.com

The Project Begins.

Thursday, August 28th, 2008 | Uncategorized | 2 Comments

Happy Thursday!

1. Operation Keep Mike Occupied/Fix Up The House is in full swing! Thanks to everyone who has offered their insight, it is super duper appreciated. I will be tackling the kitchen first. After a closer inspection, the cabinets I have, while old, are in very good shape, so replacing them is not something I really need to do. Yay! I will be painting the doors of the cabinets (If they are already white, do I need to prime?) a nice bright color, replacing the hardware on the cabinets and painting one of the walls of the kitchen. I’m going to go with a color that screams, “GOOD FUCKING MORNING”!  I’m also going to be installing shelves.

Yesterday was spent at the Re-use It store, which is a God send in terms of pretty high quality stuff at a reasonable price. I didn’t find anything that I really needed, but there are a few god awful chandeliers that I have my eye on.

Wish me luck.

Mike

Projects!

Wednesday, August 27th, 2008 | Uncategorized | 5 Comments

Happy Wednesday!

1. Over the next few weeks, I am going to be trying to keep my adorable little brain occupied. To do this, I’ve decided to take on some home projects. Here they are…Enjoy…this…list. By the way, if anyone has skill or advice with such projects, I would gladly take the help!

-Repaint my kitchen. Put up a tile splash guard behind the sink. Install some wall shelving. I was going to replace the cabinets, but after some inspection, they are actually pretty solid. Maybe a good sanding/re-finishing?

-Install new baseboards in the bedrooms. Right now, there are 1inch to 1.5 inch gaps between my floor and walls.  Do they make baseboards to account for such a gap? Who knows? Soon, I will.

-Re-paint my bathroom and try to make an incredibly small space more usable.  Perhaps replace my cabinets with longer wall shelves? Perhaps! Whatever the outcome, the bathroom shall no longer be peach.

Mike

Weather, Politics and Cabinets.

Tuesday, August 26th, 2008 | Uncategorized | 3 Comments

Happy Tuesday!

1. What a glorious few days we’ve had weather wise, huh? Fuck humidity. At least, that’s my opinion. It should be all of your opinions as well, but I respect the diversity of my readers in regards to their weather preferences. Kind of.  If you like humidity, you’re wrong, but I respect your right to be wrong.

2. The DNC has begun. I want to start getting in on the action, but it lacks the running, scoring and balancing of the Olympics. Maybe, so as to perk my interest and to ween me from my Olympics withdrawal, all of the speeches can be given from a medal stand.  Or better yet, after a race, the finish line being the speaker’s podium.

3. I am entering into a section of my life called…”ADMINISTRATION”. Lots of emails concerning dates, commitments and decisions. It’s fun, if not a little daunting.

4. There are a few projects I want to take on in my home, one being the kitchen. As it stands, my kitchen is kind of bland. I woulod like to spice it up. Maybe paint it. Maybe rip out the cabinets and put in new ones. The latter choice would be by far the most difficult, but it would also yield me the most satisfaction. Anyone ever put in new cabinets? Is it a feat that is beyond me?

Mike

BNW Podcast, The After Party and a New Blog To Check Out.

Friday, August 22nd, 2008 | Uncategorized | 3 Comments

Happy Friday!

1. Hey all! The latest BNW podcast is up! Give it a listen. It will be like smoking word crack, or something less offensive. In this episode we talk about a myriad of things, but mostly the Olympics and how out of shape we all are.

2. The BNW After Party is tonight! $8. 10pm. Tonight we have two brand new sketches, a new video and some whup ass improv excitement. The last few weeks have been fantastic and the show is slowly but surely turning into something unique and highly entertaining. Hope you can stop by.

3. As I’m writing this, USA basketball is playing Argentina. We’re* winning by 17 points, however the USA looks a little sluggish, settling for three pointers and allowing some easy buckets.  The good news? It’s late in the 4th quarter.  I don’t know where I’m going with this.

4. Check out Jason DeRusha’s blog. It’s a delight. He was signing autographs at the fair today.  50 years from now, his autograph will be examined on an episode of Antiques Roadshow and it will be valued in the BILLIONS.

I love Antiques Roadshow.  Seriously, it’s one of the greatest shows ever made, just below St. Elsewhere and just above COPS.

5. The lead has been cut to 13.

6. The game is over. I’m going for the gold*!

That’s all for this week, have a good one.

Mike

* I say “we” because  I just missed the cut. Actually I was on the squad but Chris Paul really wanted to play so I gave up my spot. Hero=me.

Mike

State Fair

Thursday, August 21st, 2008 | Uncategorized | 7 Comments

Happy Thursday!

1. The State Fair starts today. As you read this, throngs of people are staring at obese pigs, eating anything (as long as it’s fried) and pretending to like each other.  The truth is, I am a fan of the fair.  In Illinois, the Fair is a downstate, hillbilly affair, so I never went as a child.   And as far as people watching goes, it’s aces.  Every year my eyes search for the woman wearing a t-shirt of kittens holding American flags.  It has yet to happen, but It’s coming, I can sense it.

Maybe this year I’ll sit in the crowd for a newscast. Watching the anchors trying to be even folksier and “Minnesotan” than usual is always a treat. It’s like they’re all striving to force butter sculptures out their asses.

Curry and Olympic Heartbreak.

Wednesday, August 20th, 2008 | Uncategorized | 3 Comments

Happy Wednesday!

1. Yesterday was a day of Olympic heartbreak for Sanya Richards and Lolo Jones. Both were favored to win their events and both lost out in really cruel fashion. Richards, far and away the favorite to win gold in the 400, cramped up in the final 100 meters and watched helplessly as two other runners passed her.  Jones, hit the second to last hurdle in the 100 meter hurdles and lost a race that she clearly had won. Both were incredibly classy afterwards. Both were absolutely devastated. It was hard to watch.

Shawn Johnson won on the balance beam, however! Woo hoo! Man, she’s just a little spark plug of joy! Seeing her parents cry after she won had no emotional effect on me at all.  Except for the vomiting, sobbing and convulsing.

2. Adobe Premiere is the most frustrating program on the planet. It should have a feature called “soul crusher” right next to the save button.

3. I still refuse to talk about a certain team that is playing unbelievably well.

4. The Kyle Orton era has officially begun. In some ways it’s nice to know the Bears are going to suck before the season even starts.

5. True Thai is a delicious eatery.  Might I recommend the Masaman Curry? I might and I will. Our server was a delight. Just a delight. A ray of sunshine in my otherwise dark and cynical world. Never has anyone truly hoped I would enjoy my meal as much as this woman did.

Mike

Olympics, Cream Cheeses and Olives

Tuesday, August 19th, 2008 | Uncategorized | 3 Comments

Happy Tuesday! Sorry about the comments being off yesterday. I don’t know why that happened. It should be ok for today. Maybe?

1. Yesterday I was weak. I only stayed awake until 230am watching The Olympics. I don’t have what it takes to medal in Olympics watching.

2. Two days ago I bought my cat a new scratch pad. For two hours, I was a hero. After that I returned to my normal status-being in the way.

3. I have a zit forming on the inside of my nose. Ouchie!

4. Who’d of thunk that green olives and cream cheese would combine to create the perfect burger topping? Well, it does. Yum City.

5. Saw Tropic Thunder yesterday and I thought it was really funny. Which apparently puts me in the minority. Which apparently makes me stupid. Whatever, that shit made me laugh. FOTI.

Mike

What A Weekend!!!

Monday, August 18th, 2008 | Uncategorized | Comments Off

Happy Monday! It’s been a wild few days, let me tell ya!

1. I really don’t want to go into full detail, but on Thursday night I had my big phobia reconfirmed. I guess I need to be careful what I talk about in my Fringe shows.

2. Last night I stayed up until four in the morning watching the replay of Sunday’s Olympic action. That pretty much sums up this Olympic experience for me. If they’re on, I’ll watch. Here are my thoughts on the events I have seen so far.

-Women’s Beach Volleyball-Hubba Hubba! Also, what athleticism!

-Women’s Diving-There is almost no difference between a “Brilliant, life changing dive” and a “disastrous, emabarassing, shameful dive.” Seriously, the commentator in this event is fond of hyberbole.

-Fencing-5 seconds of beauty and skill. 1 millisecond of ridiculous flailing.

-Rowing-The person who sits at the back of the boat and screams, “Row!” while the other athletes row does not really deserve a medal. It’s like the diving coach that sits in the stands and screams, “Dive!”. Are rowers really so dumb that if they’re not reminded to one action constantly they’ll simply forget and sit in the boat?

-Track and Field-

The “running” events remind me of the one year in high school when I did track and finished last in nearly every event.

The “field” events make me want to weld a heavy ball to a chain, add weight to a frisbee, sharpen a stick, find a field and then go and throw that shit.

-Swimming-Should be re-named “Phelping.”

-Basketball-Jim Lampley said it best when he asked Kobe and Lebron if all the passing in the international game would finally make it into the NBA.

-Water Polo-Savagery in the w

*O

BNW AFTER PARTY

Thursday, August 14th, 2008 | Uncategorized | 12 Comments

Happy Thursday!

1. Hey! Check out the cool new banner at the top of my page! It’s in honor of the BNW’s new late night show, The After Party. The BNW has taken its normal after show improv set and super sized it. Now, not only do you get some of the best improv the Cities have to offer in one show, but you also get cool videos and sketches tossed into the mix! It’s a comedy salad. We’ve done this show the past two Friday nights and it’s been a pretty big hit with audiences. Come and check it out for yourself. People have been asking for a long time for a different type of improv show. Well, now you’ve got it. Friday Night 10pm. BNW.

Click here to become a fan!

2. Last night while grocery shopping, I got the weirdest call.

“Hello?”

“Is Mariella there?”

“You have the wrong number. Sorry.”

The girl on the other end starts crying. “I don’t want it to be the wrong number!”

“I’m sorry but it is.” I’m actually a little concerned and I want to try to help, but before I could she becomes super snotty and says, “Fine. Whatever. Bye.”

I went on to buy bread and egg substitute.

3. Speaking of, is it possible to microwave eggs?

Mike

An Inspirational Story

Tuesday, August 12th, 2008 | Uncategorized | 5 Comments

Happy Tuesday!

1.  Man, the Olympics is filled with nothing but inspirational, heart warming stories. And each story you hear seems to be just a little bit more heart wrenching than the story prior.  Seriously, it’s as if every Olympic athlete was forged via hard work and tragedy.  I hope to hear about the athlete who is quote, “A giant fucking prick. He has never experienced any hardship and punches orphans to gain strength before races.”

2. I ran into Patton Oswalt this morning. I was entering a building in the warehouse district as he was leaving. It wasn’t like we were in a busy part of downtown where such a thing might be a little more expected. Nope. We were entering/leaving a half abandoned warehouse.  I was on my way to a call back for a commercial for the Minnesota lottery. I wonder if he was doing the same thing. I doubt it, but you never know. Very nice guy.  Very soft hands.

Mike