Why, Charles Barkley? Why?
Happy Wednesday!
1. I am bad at sleeping. I’m just not good at it. I snore like a freight train filled with yapping dogs. On top of that, I wake up every two hours. This has happened for about two years. As a result, I’m never in a good mood and I always, always am tired. If there’s an upside to this, I sometimes am able to remember my dreams, since I very often wake up immediately after having them.
Last night’s dream involved me and Charles Barkley. I dreamt (Is that right? Dreamed?) that Charles and I were approaching each other from opposite ends of the sidewalk. As we came closer to each other, I talked myself into going up to him to say howdy do. As he was about to enter the TNT TV studio, which by the way resembled a rickety porch that you might find on an old southern home that wasn’t particularly well cared for, I stopped him and said, “You’re my hero. A hero. Hero.” Then I reached out my hand for a handshake. Sir Charles just stared at me. Then he went inside the studio. I walked away, thinking to myself, “Never meet your heroes. Or at least, don’t act like a retard fuckhole when you do…”
Even my dreams fill me with confidence!
2. I am in Chicago for the next few days. I spent last night at Mom and Dad’s. It was pleasant. Mother and I talked for hours and never argued. Not once. This is probably the first time in 15 years that that has happened. We ate dinner, talked about life (And cancer. The man has a knack for inserting it into every conversation. It’s a gift.), watched the all star game (Oh National League. You’ve turned into the Washington Nationals…), watched my Dad fall even more deeply in love with his new I-Pod Touch(”It’s just so great!”), and I wrapped up the evening by learning how to use Google Video Chat. I just might have what it takes to be a porn star.
Today I head into the Chicago for an event. Tomorrow I do an event in Skokie, Illinois which should thrill fans of The Usual Suspects.
3. I didn’t mention my Fringe show once, McEwen. Relax.
Mike
Have you ever done a sleep study? Maybe you have sleep apnea, and could get a CPAP and then an awesome night of rest! Maybe more than one! Awesome night, I mean, not CPAP – who needs more than one CPAP, sheesh!
Bree-The CPAP freaks me out. I think that even though it is filling me with air, I would feel like I am suffocating.
Not to deter you from getting helpful medical attention, but my ex-husband had a CPAP and while it didn’t make him feel like he was suffocating (quite the opposite, actually), he did like to joke that it would be a perfect way to kill him – just put some dry ice in the water thing instead of distilled water. No evidence, and, well, people with sleep apnea die in their sleep all the time.
Bree-Thank you for terrifying me.
See, I figure he’d wake up well before asphyxiation, but hey, I’ve never tried it. Uh, nor wanted to, I should probably make that clear!