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Previews Recap and Goodbye Kerry Wood.

Monday, November 17th, 2008 | Plugs, Sports | 3 Comments

Happy Monday!

1. Preview week at the BNW is over. Well, that’s not entirely true. There’s one more left on Thursday, the day before opening, but the truth is by the time that preview goes up, 99% of the show is complete. So in a way, I hesitate to even call it a preview mainly because the chance of failure and misery is so very slim. Let’s refer to it as the “almost opening”.

As for this weekend, I wasn’t surprised by the audience reaction to my stuff as I was reminded yet again, that my humor is an acquired taste and one that doesn’t necessarily resonate with…people.  As for the show on the whole however,  I was caught off guard by what the audience liked and didn’t like. Normally, I have a pretty good gauge for that stuff, but for this run my “audience-tron 550″ was a little off.  So, stuff I thought was pretty solid is probably gone and stuff i wasn’t sure about hit HUGE.  After doing this for a while, it was kind of nice to be surprised.*

Each preview was met with wild enthusiasm and I’m pretty sure a statue is being erected for Lauren Anderson, who in her comic brilliance, essentially put the crowd into a comedy coma**(***), with everything she did. I would come to this show is all I’m saying.

2. Kerry Wood is no longer a Cub. Most people will look back at his career and see it as something of a tragedy. Hall of Fame talent, that got wrung through the injury grindhouse. And there certainly is that angle. There’s no denying it. But he will always be one of my favorite Cubs, because he never complained about his lot, kept the game in perspective and frankly turned himself into one hell of a closer.

I was always impressed by him.  Good luck!

*I believe firmly in the show over the individual and kind of hate myself for starting off this paragraph talking about myself, but what are you gonna do?  Sometimes, all the editing in the world still yields narcissism, despite best intentions. Give me a break.

**You might think I’m trying to garner favor with this, but let me assure you, if there’s one person who I know for sure doesn’t read this blog, it’s Lauren.

(***)Everyone in this show deserves a statue. Whew. Dodged a bullet! By lying.****

****Just kidding.

Mike

Fuck You, Cubs

Monday, October 6th, 2008 | Sports, Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Happy Monday.

1. The Cubs were swept in the first round of the MLB playoffs. In other words, they choked. They managed something like 6 runs for the entire series. I can’t even put into words how I feel right now. I know I can’t wtch anymore baseball for the year. It just hurts too much. I feel like I got dumped ad ever saw it coming. I expected to go on several more dates with this girl. In fact, I thought she might be the one. But then, out of nowhere, she calls, says it’s over and changes her number and address, just to be sure that the break off is complete and final.

Fucking Cubs. And don’t give me any of that “loveable losers” bullshit. That’s a cute moniker for non fans.

2. In brighter news, I’m in Missouri visiting my nephew! Woo hoo! He’s the best.  I drove through the entirety of Iowa to get here.  It’s literally a 300+ mile straight shot. Additionally about every 50 miles or so, public radio would start over and I’d be forced to listen to Prarie  Home…again. Over and over. it was awful.

Byee!

Mike

Creature Feature Starts Tonight! (and other stuff)

Thursday, October 2nd, 2008 | Oleo, Plugs, Sports | 7 Comments

Happy Thursday!

1. Holy crap! The creepiest improv show in the Twin Cities starts tonight! 10pm! BNW! But wait, did you know this show is a double bill, also featuring the talents of Survivors Of The Undead Plague? And wait, did you know that I’m playing with the Survivors throughout the run of Creature Feature? Holy smokes! Hope to see you there.

2. In order to mentally prepare for tonight’s show, I’ll be watching the Cubs in game 2 of the NLDS. If you watched last night (Anyone?) you fully understand how watching a Cubs game is great prep for horror comedy. Come on Zambrano! We need you, you crazy crazy motherfucker.

3. I’m watching the final season of The Wire and I am an emotional wreck. So much death. So little-but poignant when it happens-redemption. So much newsroom/street/cop drama. I’m just going to say it, The Wire is my favorite show ever.  What’s your favorite show? Let’s argue!

Mike

Sorry guys.

Wednesday, October 1st, 2008 | Sports | No Comments

Happy Wednesday.

1. I’m sorry Twins fans, I truly am. This may sound hollow coming from this die hard Cubber, but you have to remember, I grew up in hard core White Sox territory.  Seeing them succeed brings me right back to the days of being harassed because my favorite team wasn’t graced with the presence of baseball immortality, like Frank Thomas and Jack (blackjack) McDowell.  God, those days really shaped the miserable bastard I am today.

2. Hey! Nothing says, economic security like a bailout know one wants, huh? I was having trouble grasping how something so large could affect me. I mean, 700 billion dollars? That’s like 700 billion McDonald’s cheeseburgers, you know?

Luckily, my car broke down last night. I’m sure when I get the bill the reality of my financial situation in relation to the Country’s will become much clearer. Man, I’m hoping I’m crying wolf and my car needs nothing more than a hug.

3. Finally….GO CUBS! GO CUBS! GO CUBS!

4. Can anyone drive me to a bar that will be playing the game?

Mike

Creature Feature, The 163rd Game, and The BNW Podcast!

Tuesday, September 30th, 2008 | Plugs, Podcasts, Sports | No Comments

Happy Tuesday!

1. Quick Reminder! Creature Feature. BNW. 10pm. Thursday. If you’ve been to one of these before, you know how funny they are. If you haven’t, this is your chance to find out! Get your tickets for this week’s show or for any other show in the run, here!

2. Who’s it gonna be? The White Sox, a team that didn’t want to win their division? Or, is it gonna be The Twins, the other team that didn’t want to win their division? Sorry, that was probably a little harsh, but I mean come on! This division begged all season for one of these teams to take it home and make sweet love to it. But rather than jump on that shit, both teams acted like shy acne covered teenagers, reluctant to take a shot at the girl of their dreams. And now they’re being forced to battle it out all by themselves, the rest of the sport all wrapped up and tidy, waiting for the playoffs to begin. Maybe Twins and Sox will really piss everybody off and record a tie.

Watch, I’m making fun now, but whoever wins this game will probably tear through the AL and be their rep in the World Series.

3. The latest BNW podcast is up! Listen to it here!

Go Twins!

Friday, September 26th, 2008 | Plugs, Sports, Uncategorized | 3 Comments

Happy Friday!

1.  Wow, that was a great series between the Twins and The White Sox, huh? Here’s what I’ll remember most about that series: The Fucking White Sox fucking lost every game they needed to win. Brilliant. I know it ain’t over yet, but that has sting, don’t it Ozzie?

White Sox aside, you gotta love those Twins. So spunky!

2.  John McCain has agreed to participate in tonight’s (I think it’s tonight. All I have to do is go over to CNN.com to verify, but the truth is I am too lazy) debate, reversing his stance from a few days ago.  I’ll be honest, there was part of me that thought his little “I’m not debating because I need to lead my country through this dark hour” stunt was pretty clever.  But I am thrilled that it has backfired in his face so beautifully.  Instead of appearing to be America’s  knight in shining armor, he’s looking like the face of a campaign that is panicking and in disarray.  Awesome.  Seriously.

3. Looking for something to do tonight around 10pm? Come and check out the BNW’s late night improv show, The After Party! All the improv, sketches and video your little hearts can take!

Mike

Non Fringe Blog

Thursday, August 7th, 2008 | Sports | 1 Comment

Happy Thursday! It’s kind of hard to believe Fringe is heading into its final weekend, huh? So much build up. So much prep. Such a short fest. Bummer.

1. Honestly, I ain’t got much to talk about. I am a little burnt out in regards to hyping shows and the what not, so maybe today’s blog will be about…sports. Yes. Because when you’re all not reading about and going to see Fringe shows, you are surely wondering about sports. So here goes…

-Brett Favre is a Jet? I guess. Man, that whole situation was handled really poorly by the organization and Favre.  Would I have liked him to be a Bear? Sure. But I have to look on the bright side, if he were to become a Bear, Kyle Orton’s Hall Of Fame career would have to wait that much longer to begin.

-The Cubs are really getting ready to break my heart. Actually, they are pretty good this year. Not flukey good, but legitimately good. They actually have a chance of making it to the event that shall not be named…

-The Twins are so goddamn plucky! It’s a little hard to believe that a year after trading away their ace for nothing even approaching value, that they’re still right in the A.L. Central race. It’s hard not to love em’ just a little.

-Dance, dance, theater, theater. There. Feel a little better?

Mike

I Will Never Write About Golf Again…Until I Do.

Tuesday, June 17th, 2008 | Solo Show Stuff, Sports | 6 Comments

Happy Tuesday!

1. The Skirt Turtles won their first game of the Summer schedule. Man, we really played well last night. Aside from what is becoming known as “the fifth inning curse”, in which everything that can go wrong, does, we are turning into a real ball club. What’s that odor? It’s sweet. It smells like victory.

2. “Why would I want to read a blog about a guy watching golf on TV?”-Jimmy Gaines 6/16/08. I have no idea, Jimmy. But I appreciate your readership. I really do. Tomorrow I promise to tell the story of some obscure band from the 70’s that no one’s ever heard of, and how with a few breaks that never happened, they would have been bigger than the Stones. I promise.

3. I am in full fledged writing mode right now. Fringe, BNW, videos, bills, letters, you name it. If it needs writing, you can bet I’m writing it. Hillary dropping out of the race has added a whole lot of clarity to my writing for the upcoming BNW show. Sure, she was the easiest target out there and I’m a little sad that I’ll have to wait to use some of my better pantsuit jokes, but I’m going to go glass half full on this one and say that it’s better this way. Maybe after years and years in the spotlight Hillary was getting too easy to poke fun at. Yeah, that’s the ticket.

As for the Fringe show, it continues to putter along. I really just need to pick some stories and then write them. Ugh. Just ugh.I don’t know why in my head I’ve decided that the show needs to 3 longish stories. There’s no reason to do it that way just because that’s what it was last year. I could do 5 less longish stories and still be just fine. Good Lord, me. You are a pathetic non-deciding fuck tart*.

4. Al Franken is a short, short man.

Mike

*I really hope Tiger Woods says that to himself right before (or after) a big putt. There, I got a little more golf in there. Ha.

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GOLF!

Monday, June 16th, 2008 | Sports | 2 Comments

Happy Monday!

1. Ok, ok, so golf isn’t very exciting. I’ve played golf my whole life and I can admit that. It’s a sport that hinges on patience and self control. That’s not exactly a hockey fight. I get that. Sometimes, I turn on golf just so I can take a nap or zone out or imagine I’m riding a flying elephant to candy island. But seriously, the final round of this year’s U.S. Open was A-FUCKING-MAZING. Rocco Mediate? Rocco Mediate? Awesome. When Woods hit that birdie putt on the 18th to force a playoff and let out that primal scream coupled with the pumping flailing arms, it was hard not to fall into a state of delirium. Hell, I missed the last few holes and saw that pump on ESPN after hearing what happened and I still screamed when I saw it. It was awesome. AWESOME! I bet a bunch of little kids who were forced yesterday to watch the final round with their Dads -against their will- became instant fans.

That is all for today, I’ve got softball rosters to solidify.

Mike

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Sorry About Yesterday!

Thursday, June 12th, 2008 | Plugs, Sports | 13 Comments

Happy Thursday! Sorry for the no blog yesterday. Sometimes it just doesn’t happen. Anyhoo…

*I read last night in the Star Tribune that ERs throughout the metro area are running low on Rabies vaccinations. For a man who is terrified of bats-Sorry, that’s not true. I’m more than terrified of bats, if that’s possible- Anyway, for a man who is more than terrified of bats, this is chilling news. It’s like a horror movie made just for me that I have no interest in seeing. Ugh. Ironically, this article came out just over a year since my last bat encounter. God, bats scare me. Moving on…

*DIGG ME! Just hit the “DIGG” button at the bottom of the blog. I’m not sure what this does, but apparently it will make me amazingly popular. Moving on…

*You may have noticed that my header image includes the dates I will be participating in the Twin Cities Improv Festival. Helpful to you, my loyal readers? You bet. You may have also noticed that the header says you can click it for more info about the festival. Someday this will be true. That day is not today or the next day. It should be working. It’s just not. For now please visit twincitiesimprovfestival.com. Moving on…

*Alfonso Soriano, the Cubs 45 year old 31 year old broke his wrist (or maybe his hand, I saw the info scroll across the screen like a streamer of sadness and was too horrified to look twice in order to confirm my fears) last night. Crap. Oh well, this team is solid. I’ve decided to remain confident, like Amelia Earhart. TOO SOON! Moving on…

*Cate(Hi. I don’t believe we’ve met. Maybe we have. I don’t know.), you asked me to list the dates of my upcoming Fringe Show. I’m on it. By Monday, that shit gonna be done!

Have a nice day.

Mike