1. It’s raining today which can only mean one thing. God watched last night’s episode of Top Chef and even he can’t believe that Robin is still on the show. I’m not saying that Mike deserved to stay on the show after last night’s effort, or better put, after the attitude he showed at the judge’s table.  He didn’t. And to be honest, I won’t miss him. His smile made me uncomfortable.  Also how do you go through life having never seen one episode of Seinfeld?  That’s just…bizarre. Serial killer bizarre.

I am having difficulty accepting a world where Robin is taking my dire prediction from a week ago and forcing it into the realm of plausibility. I’m telling you, she’s going to find a way to skate into the finals.  Everyone else will make one killer mistake and for whatever reason her meal, which is almost never good, won’t be bad enough.

Onto Michael, the tattooed brother. Man, competition sure has brought out the asshole in that guy. Face it dude, Kevin might just be better than you.

Onto Jennifer, the super hot chef who is in the middle of  meltdown. Get your shit together, ok? Although, thank you for your Flintstone’s commentary. SUPER HOT.

Ok, that’s all for today.

1. On tonight’s episode of Top Chef, Robin, America’s favorite kind of annoying chef who used to have cancer will either be eliminated from the competition or continue her baffling ascent up the Top Chef ladder. I CAN’T WAIT!!!!

2. Hey Facebook, I really hate the news feed/live feed thing you’ve got going on. And by “hate”, I am fully willing to admit that I am to lazy to figure out the new layout.  My thing is this. Couldn’t the default feed be the live feed? That way, I always  am up to date with my friends and their pithy opinions.

3. Hey Chicago Cubs, guess what starts tonight? The World Series. Guess who’s not there? Well yes, you’re right. I’m not there. But neither are you, and that’s my point. Please be better next year.

On a side note, Joe Buck doesn’t annoy me like he does the rest of America. He does annoy me, just not as much as he annoys the average Joe and Jane.

-Mike

1.  Here are some thoughts from last night’s episode of Top Chef.

-It was time for Laurine to go. She seems like a capable chef, but it was pretty obvious that last night was not her night.  I say this mainly because she is no longer on the show.

-Michael is kind of  a jerk when the pressure’s on.  Sure splitting the money was a nice thing to do, (I will never do that if I win any sort of competition. Friends, take note.) but the constant yelling was a bit much. Take a chill pill, dude! Am I right?

-Bryan seems like a decent dude, but if I ever found a dollar on the street and decided to pop it in my wallet, he’d most likely be pretty shitty to me about it.

-Jennifer is lucky that Laurine was such a terrible host, otherwise she’d be gone.

-Kevin once again proved that he can have a bad show but still cook the shit out of some pork.

-Robin actually did ok last night, except for the part where she wouldn’t stop talking. I have a feeling that she might win simply because in every episode up to this point, someone has had an error just a little worse than any error she has made. In other words, she might win by just being good at not losing. If that happens, Tom Col-I have no idea how to spell-o will be forced to fall on his Chef’s sword in shame.

-Mike

1. Last night’s episode of Top Chef was a delight. Wowza, the rest of the contestants sure do hate Robin.  To a certain extent, I can see why. She is sort of annoying. But seriously, the almost Junior High like mentality against her, seems a bit much.  But let us move on to last night’s loser, Ash. I am a big fan of Ash, mostly because he’s funny and seem to get that in the end, being the  “Top Chef”  doesn’t really mean anything. Also, his obvious disdain for Padma’s opinion of him in last night’s episode was pretty great.  I forgot what he said word for word, but I did a spit take when he screamed something in the realm of, “I forgot to add flavor!” It was fantastic. It also made me realize that I am no longer into Padma.  Jennifer is the real business if you get my drift. GROWL! Anyhoo, see you later, Ash. This elimination had been coming for a few weeks.

It’s pretty clear who the main players in this competition are. The brothers, Jennifer and Kevin. Who are you putting your money on? Me, I’m starting to lean toward Kevin. He’s just really, really good. He never seems to mess up.

-Mike

2.  “An Intimate Evening With Fotis Part III: Fotis Party Time Explosion” starts this Thursday at 9pm. It’s at the Theater Garage.  It’s a very funny show.

Performances:
Thursday October 15 9pm
Friday October 16 9pm
Sunday October 18 330pm

Produced by Nimbus Theatre and presented as a double bill with “Crescendo”, a whup ass one person show starring Allegra Lingo!

Tickets $12, $10 with Fringe button (or $20 / $18 when you see both shows together!).

More information can be found here:

http://www.nimbustheatre.com/discover/nightsofthelivingfringe.php

3. Last night I made curry, and by made I mean that I poured a jar of “Curry Stuff” on top of my meat and vegetables. It was in no way cooking, unless for some reason I see someone do the exact same thing on Top Chef.

1. Thoughts on last night’s episode

-I couldn’t be less excited to see Toby return to the show. I used to daydream that I had an awesome British cousin who would visit my family every summer. During those visits we would be regaled with cheeky British humor and maybe, if I was lucky he would share with me the tricks of being a gentlemen.

In the Fall, when he would leave for home, I would feel incredibly sad and anxiously await his return for months.

I feel exactly the opposite about Toby.

"I tried to deconstruct Paella, but in the end it deconstructed me..."

-It’s sad, but it was time for Ron to go. Don’t get me wrong, if we were friends and he cooked for me on a regular basis, I would be crazy excited as I’m sure his food is great. I would say in groups of people things like, “I hope Ron made some sort of seafood” and surely most of my friends would agree. But he just seemed a little overwhelmed in this competition. Some people just aren’t meant to cook in front of millions of people.

-Jennifer seems to be the exact opposite of Ron. Sure, she was convinced she was going to fail, but she just rises to the challenge.  I wonder if she’s into 32 year olds who run blogs that are updated on a semi regular basis.

-Apparently everybody hates Robin and I get that. She does seem annoying. But if you’ve had cancer, I think it’s ok to play the cancer card every once in a while. You’ve earned it. You know…BY HAVING CANCER.  I seriously doubt that her mentioning her cancer was the reason she won the quick fire.  And even if it was, the other contestants should have licked their wounds, and taken solace in the fact that they’ve NEVER HAD CANCER.  Sorry. That was a bit of a rant.  Accusing her of playing the cancer card seemed…tacky.

Anyhoo, not the greatest episode ever, but one that was necessary. Mainly because they shot it, and had it never aired, America never would have know what had happened to Ron.

1. So I know that chit chat about Top Chef on a Friday morning, two days after the show aired, isn’t the cool thing to do but what can I say? Tivo has changed my life. Tivo has no flaws. None. It is perfect. Tivo will one day rule us all and I will be totally fine with that.

"I wish the show was called Top Scarf!"

Anyhoo, on to the show. I was sad to see Mattin go, but let’s all face facts. He just wasn’t that fantastic of a chef. Also, that red scarf thing was going to get old.

The clean cut brother, Bryan, won again. He’s got the goods. Also, women sure do love that guy. I have one friend in particular who has fallen in love with him. When he shows up in an episode, which is always, this friend of mine starts shaking like a drug addict. Her drug? Bryan. She’d put him in a needle if she could and fire him straight into her neck. It’s amazing.

In other news, my crush on Jennifer is increasing with every snarky thing she says. She always seems so…disgusted. Were we to have sex (fingers crossed!) she would be all like, “Ugh. Your penis? In me? Whatever.” And I would love it.

Byeee!

1. Last night’s Top Chef was a great one.

• For one thing, my girl Carla continued her hot streak. I just love her.  After watching the show, I daydreamed that she was my slightly crazy, slightly wise, totally awesome older sister.  In the daydream I asked her for advice about girls and for the best way to cook an egg. My daydreams are not that exciting.
• Stefan remains a giant, giant prick.  You remember that foreign exchange student from high school that seemed cool at first but then you realize that he only came to America to gloat about Europe and sleep with all the hot sophomores? Yeah, that’s him. I bet he went bald not because of genetics, but because his hair got sick of him.
• Did anybody notice Fabio’s slow clap when he announced to the rest of the group that Stefan had won the elimination challenge? It was fantastic.
• Jaimie was never my favorite. I thought she was kind of annoying, but she did not deserve to go home last night.
• Leah will remain on the show for a while. Not because she has any skill at all, but because  she seems to be developing some sort of chemistry with Stefan. Don’t believe me? Re-watch the episode. It’s there. Which makes me hate her even more.  All the sexual intrigue aside, Leah gave up in the quick fire challenge. To me, that was automatic elimination. Boo on her. Boo on the judges.

I can’t wait til’ next week!

Mike