mikefotis.com

You Say Blagojevich, I Say Felon!

Thursday, December 11th, 2008 | Uncategorized | 6 Comments

Happy Thursday! It’s been a few days, hasn’t it? Yes. Here’s a random list of thoughts in no order whatsoever, because frankly that’s all I’ve got.

1. Top Chef continues to wow me with the drama.  Cooking for a bridal party? That’s some crazy pressure.     So far, I don’t have a favorite character yet, although I am a big fan of the non foreign bald guy, the older woman and the sassy foreign man with the faux hawk. I really need to get better with names.

2. Kelly (from Target? Has to be.) has decided to use my blog to shame me for my TIVO Naivete. I’m fine with that. Kelly (From Target?) is good people and if shame is the only way for us to stay in contact, then I am all for it.

3. I can’t believe I have a friend who’s going to be on Jeopardy.

4. Happy Birthday Bobby!

5. I know it’s wrong, and what he did is reprehensible, but I am almost impressed by Governor Blagojevich. I mean he FLAT OUT TRIED TO SELL AN OPEN SENATE SEAT TO THE HIGHEST BIDDER. Come on. That’s so incredibly arrogant and stupid that it almost has to be applauded. Think about it, the man with the 1978 hairdo took an overwrought(sp?), far fetched and unbelieveable episode of Law and Order and made it reality. Amazing.  Two consecutive Governors in jail* has to be a record, right?

*Given the amazing nature of this story, Blagojevich may very well find a way to avoid jail time. Think I’m crazy? Well, so is trying to sell a senate seat. Seriously. Take a second. Think about what he did. Unreal. UNREAL. WOW. Just wow.

Mike

The Other Half Lives Well!

Sunday, December 7th, 2008 | Uncategorized | 2 Comments

Happy Sunday (Well, Monday by the time most of you read this)!

1.  I got an upgrade to first class on my flight Memphis today. I have now seen how the other half lives and it is luscious. I am never going back. NEVER! I was allowed at least two sodas and chances are I would have been given as many as I could stomach, but I didn’t want to seem…what’s the phrase? Ah yes,  COMMON! My leisurely naps were interrupted only by my weary knees thanking me for all the leg room and by the candy and treats the flight attendants insisted I sample.  It was quite simply, an amazing flight.

2. Good luck, Ron Santo.

Mike

Dignity Has A Price. Unfortunately, I’m an Actor and I Can’t Afford To Pay.

Friday, December 5th, 2008 | Uncategorized | 10 Comments

Happy Friday!

1. Hello, for the first time in months and months I will be leaving the house wearing sweatpants. You may be thinking to yourself, “Great. Mike has completely given up. He used to at least sort of care what he looked like, but now all he can manage is sweats? YIPES! I bet he’s also sipping a super sized cup of Mountain Dew and mumbling to himself.”  First off, major bonus points to whomever thought what I just wrote. If you did that, then you are amazing.  Secondly, I promise that even if I do ever give up, I will at least in public, present myself with some dignity. There is no dignity in sweatpants. Even if you have dignity stitched to the ass of your sweatpants, there is no dignity. Although, that is a million times funnier than having “juicy” or “slut” stitched there.

Anyhoo, the reason I’m dressed in what should really be described as walking blankets, is because I am going to an commercial audition. Yay.  The commercial is for a gym and I’m pretty sure I was called in specifically because of my lack of muscle tone.  And I have a beard.  I get called in a lot because of the beard.

I’d bet you anything that if I had time to sew dignity onto the ass of my sweats, I’d land this part.

Have a great Friday!

Mike

More Top Chef and G1

Thursday, December 4th, 2008 | Uncategorized | 8 Comments

Happy Thursday!

1. I am just getting used to this TIVO thing-y so for all I know last night’s episode of Top Chef may have originally aired three days ago.  I love Tivo, but it’s fucking with my reality. I can honestly say I now have to really think about what day it is when I wake up in the morning. Ok, ok that may be more a sign of horrible depression than anything else, but let’s keep this post light shall we?

Anyway, last night’s(?) Top Chef was all about preparing for and successfully pulling off a live TV cooking segment.  It wasn’t one of my favorite episodes, although I was surprised to see the “I love soup, I could make soup all day” girl so quickly toss her competitors under the bus with her, “I really want to be here” comment. I thought that was a cheap shot.  Honestly, I’m not that surprised. She has a huge ego. I guess you have to be if you like soup as much as she does. What?  Oh well. It’s a great show.

2. My G1 arrived yesterday and truth be told, it’s pretty great. It’s no iphone but I knew that going in, so I am pretty satisfied.  Although for some reason, it wouldn’t transfer all of the phone numbers I had stored on my blackberry. I spent the better part of last night and today collecting numbers from folks. So if I don’t call for a while, it’s either because I haven’t had time to get your number from you or I just don’t want it! BURN! Or should I say, OUCH!

Mike

Tags: G1, Top Chef

An Open Letter To T-Mobile

Tuesday, December 2nd, 2008 | Uncategorized | 6 Comments

Happy Wednesday.

1. An Open Letter To T-Mobile

Dear Shiteaters I mean T-Mobile,

For the most part, I have enjoyed the time we’ve spent together. You’ve offered me low rates and when problems have popped up here and there you’ve always been courteous and offered me swift resolution. That all changed this weekend when apparently your entire company decided to beat themselves about the head until they became retarded.

I wish I had known about your “Self-tardation” decision before I called, because it would have saved me a lot of time. A quick automated message in front of your usual hour long automated message saying, “Hello! We all Retardededededed today! Cracker? CRACKER!” would have been awfully helpful.

Anyway, here are some tips for helping the next person in my position.

#1-The people at your stores should know a little bit about the services they offer and how to remedy a customer’s concerns. Staring at me until I suggest calling headquarters or whatever the fuck you call it, doesn’t really do the trick. Phones break. I get that. You get that. I was 4 months away from contract renewal. Just wave those months and give me a new phone at the reduced rate being offered. If you had done that, everything would have been fine. And I wouldn’t have had to call headquarters or whatever the fuck you call it to be phone raped by your incompetence.

#2-Is the phone system as complicated as it seems over there at headquarters or whatever the fuck you call it? I only ask because I was disconnected on two separate phone calls as I was being transfered to someone else who (probably) couldn’t help me. Being disconnected while being offered no real help-”Have you tried turning it off and then back on again? Crackers!”-is enough to drive a reasonable person absolutely insane.

#3-And finally, next time, when I finally am able to get a hold of someone who waives the extra months and gives me the phone I want at the reduced price and waives the express shipping fee on the phone and seems to solve all my problems and make sunshine come out of kitty asses and blah blah blah, remind them to tell me that the phone is on back order and I won’t have it for two weeks. Finding that out on my own sucked.

Anyway fuck you and have a great day,

Mike Fotis

Tags: BNW, Cracker, idiots, mike, mike fotis, morons, phones, T-mobile, tmobile

The Picture That Sums It All Up!

Wednesday, November 26th, 2008 | Uncategorized | 2 Comments

Happy Wednesday before T-day!

1. The Chicago adventure continues. Yesterday, the Little Chicago Warrior (LCW) and I, hit up Millennium Park. Here are some photos. Try and find the one of the LCW that perfectly sums up what it must be like to date someone like me. It’s pretty classic.

Well, that’s just about all for today.

Mike!

Tickets and Lunch With Pops.

Tuesday, November 25th, 2008 | Site News, Uncategorized | No Comments

Happy Tuesday!

1. Still in Chicago. Still having a good time. Here are the highlights from yesterday!

*Got a ticket for having my car parked in the wrong spot during leaf sweeping. To be fair, there was a giant sign next to my car yesterday morning when I got my ticket around 930am. To be unfair, there was not a sign warning me not to park when I parked my car the night before around 830pm. So between 830pm on Sunday and 930am on Monday, a sign was put up next to my car telling me to move it. Now, that’s a great start to a day!

*Took the train downtown to meet up with my Pops for a quick lunch at Gino’s East. Amongst the topics discussed:

-We both agree that the Kennedy Assassination was a conspiracy.

-My mother, his wife is a little crazy.

-My nephew, his grandson is really cute.

-Abraham Lincoln was a wonderful writer, but in order to grasp the full impact of his speeches, historical context of the weeks leading up to each of his speeches is sorely needed.

-Frontline is a very fair show.

-Gardening is both a rewarding hobby and a great form of exercise.

*After lunch, I went to the Apple store to ask the Apple men a question about the Itouch that my father was too afraid to ask and made my way down Michigan Ave. for some picture taking.

*Then I met up with the Little Chicago Warrior for a little dinner fixin’. The steak was chewy. I suck.

2. Today, me and the LCW are heading down to Millennium Park to look at some bean and maybe get some museum time in.

See you tomorrow!

Mike

Hey There’s A Deer! I’m Gonna Shoot Me Some!

Monday, November 24th, 2008 | Uncategorized | 2 Comments

Happy Monday!

1. I am in Chicago hanging out with the little Chicago warrior.  Whoopee!

The drive down from MPLS was, as always, horrendously boring. Here are the highlights:

* I saw a deer carcass shoved into the truck of a beat up Neon as I drove just west of Madison. Man, nothing says hillbilly like driving in your beat up Neon, seeing a deer, pulling over and grabbing your “trunk rifle”, shooting the deer and then shoving it in your trunk.

The only thing slightly more hillbilly than shoving a deer into the trunk of your mid size car would be if you were driving in your shitty Neon and saw a pond or as you might call it, a mighty good fishin’ nook with tons of them there swimmers in dar! Obviously, this pond would stir something in you awful fierce like and you’d just have to git’ to fishing!  But guess what?! You done left your fishin’ rod at home! Dag gummit! What you gonna go and do? I know! How bout’ ripping that thar stick from that tree and tying one yar’ fancy shoe laces to it? By golly and gee whiz, you done  and made yourself a fishing pole! Woot woot wooly doo! When you’re done just toss the fish in your trunk!

Mike

It’s Opening Night!

Friday, November 21st, 2008 | Plugs, Uncategorized | 5 Comments

Happy Friday!

1. It opening night! Tonight! Yay! Last night’s final preview went fine, now it’s time to make this puppy official. In honor of Opening night, I am going to make pasta and get a haircut. I’m sure that sounds random, but that’s what all the great actors do before shows: get clipper cuts and carb load.   Opening nights are fun, especially for the holiday show, because it truly feels like my holiday season gets an official start.

2. Does anybody else have recount fever!?

3. I taught my roommate how to use an oven last night. He’s 28.

4. Replacing the brake light in my car has left me with a feeling of invincibility!

5. About 90% of the male population knows more about comic books than I do.

6. Thinking about writing a musical with Josh E. about the Titanic…from the iceberg’s perspective.  It seems like a brilliant idea. Hope it hasn’t already been done.

Podcast and Oh My…

Tuesday, November 18th, 2008 | Uncategorized | 12 Comments

Happy Tuesday!

1. New podcast is up! Enjoy!

2. I bought a new hat yesterday and by doing so, officially became an old man.
I’m not sure what I was thinking, but I will tell you this. This hat is the most comfortable thing I have ever worn. Ever. I feel like I should apologize to those I love for ever purchasing a hat like this because surely I will be an embarrassment to anyone I share public spaces with from here on out. What can I say? I have now officially reached the stage where I choose practicality over style.

Mike