Happy Wednesday.
1. An Open Letter To T-Mobile
Dear Shiteaters I mean T-Mobile,
For the most part, I have enjoyed the time we’ve spent together. You’ve offered me low rates and when problems have popped up here and there you’ve always been courteous and offered me swift resolution. That all changed this weekend when apparently your entire company decided to beat themselves about the head until they became retarded.
I wish I had known about your “Self-tardation” decision before I called, because it would have saved me a lot of time. A quick automated message in front of your usual hour long automated message saying, “Hello! We all Retardededededed today! Cracker? CRACKER!” would have been awfully helpful.
Anyway, here are some tips for helping the next person in my position.
#1-The people at your stores should know a little bit about the services they offer and how to remedy a customer’s concerns. Staring at me until I suggest calling headquarters or whatever the fuck you call it, doesn’t really do the trick. Phones break. I get that. You get that. I was 4 months away from contract renewal. Just wave those months and give me a new phone at the reduced rate being offered. If you had done that, everything would have been fine. And I wouldn’t have had to call headquarters or whatever the fuck you call it to be phone raped by your incompetence.
#2-Is the phone system as complicated as it seems over there at headquarters or whatever the fuck you call it? I only ask because I was disconnected on two separate phone calls as I was being transfered to someone else who (probably) couldn’t help me. Being disconnected while being offered no real help-”Have you tried turning it off and then back on again? Crackers!”-is enough to drive a reasonable person absolutely insane.
#3-And finally, next time, when I finally am able to get a hold of someone who waives the extra months and gives me the phone I want at the reduced price and waives the express shipping fee on the phone and seems to solve all my problems and make sunshine come out of kitty asses and blah blah blah, remind them to tell me that the phone is on back order and I won’t have it for two weeks. Finding that out on my own sucked.
Anyway fuck you and have a great day,
Mike Fotis
