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Happy Monday!

1. I am naming this week, “Mike sure has a lot of writing to do!”  Here’s a list. Lists are great for people who are too lazy to construct a paragraph.

-The silly little book. One day I will finish this thing. It most likely will not be in the next seven.

-A story for this Sunday’s Rockstar show at the BLB. The story needs to be in the mystery or horror genre.  I have nothing. In a perfect world, I could combine the book I’m writing with this gig. But since what I’m writing is in no way a horror or mystery, I yet again have proof that the world is not perfect and is in fact out to get me.

-Rehearsals for the Holiday show at the BNW begin this week. which means lots of brainstorming which means sketch ideas which means sketches.

I’m actually really looking forward to this week. It will be stressful, but well worth it. Because let’s face it. Writing is hard but it’s not as hard as selling vacuums door to door. Can you imagine that shit? Come on.

Mike

Happy Thursday!

1.  For my Wednesday, the plan was, unlike the prior two days,  to get some writing done.  To feel a sense of accomplishment. To ward off the lazy monster that had been perched upon my back and had been sucking any energy I had and face the day! And for the most part the plan worked. Sure, Facebook sucked away productive time like it always does and yeah my crosswords took longer than usual to do, but I forced myself to get out of the house and the point is, by the end of the day I had gotten some seriously good writing done. Writing that I could hang my hat on, or set my watch to whichever old man phrase you prefer. Considering how hard it has been for me to write a coherent sentence let alone some comedy lately, I was feeling a sense of relief.

How bad has it been for me lately? Well, it took me nearly an hour to put together the piece of crap paragraph you just read.

Anyhoo, to celebrate my near competence, I went to Dominoes to pick up a medium cheese pizza.  To me, nothing says victory like eating in one serving something that should take four.  Everything was going fine. I was really excited. I ran up to my front door pizza box in hand. I was so close. I just had to slip the key into the lock and I would be in pizza heaven. Then for no reason at all, the box slipped out of my hand, flew open and beautiful slices of greasy pizza plopped onto my disgusting patio floor. I thought about giving up on everything. Just giving up and moving to some island to start a simpler life that didn’t involve doors. But instead,  I picked up the slices with a stoic grace and proceeded to eat them.  That’s right dear reader, I ate the pizza now covered in snow, dirt and ice melting salt out of spite. “Fuck you world”, I thought as my mouth worked its way through cheese and grit,  “I deserve this pizza.  Find another dick to chafe.”

Mike